Love & Other Disasters...

Well.. how shall i start.. it had been quite a while since i write anything in this blog.. i was on the phone with one of my best friend tonite and beside gossiping and telling each other on how our day was, sumhow the topic of blogging came out.. well.. both of us blogs.. i've been quite active when i was working with my previous company.. At that time, work was not to crazy and having my own personal office rrom does help coz when i'm writing, there's nobody beside/behind/infront of you.... peeking on your computer screen.. perhaps looking whether your doin your work or playing games or surfs the net... Now, with the new company, im seated in a little cubicle and the work load sumhow is quite daunting.. which doesnt give me time to actually surf the net let alone blogging!!.. but i know.. its just an excuse.. i have internet at home and i can blog when i come back from work.. but most of the time, after staring at the bloody computer screen for the past 10 hours, i just cant bring myself to open my lappy...... im just too tired at the end of the day to even think of what to write... sigh...

But thats just another excuse.. i was browing through my previous postings and felt nostalgic.. i can actually remembered what i did that day.. how i felt at that particular time.. especially when i went travelling.... this blog is like a diary of my emotions and when i stopped writing, i've lost all the momories that i wanted to remember...

There sooo much things that has happened..... so much emotions that havent been expressed and soo much experiences forgotten..... therefore, with this in mind, i am determined to keep my blog once again... trying to at least write sumthing eventhough how mundane it is....and i noticed that if i stopped writing, my writing skills sumhow, deteriorate... not that im good... but suffice to say that i just write whatever that comes to my mind.. thats all....

Back to the title of the blog.. well... its a movie title actually... i watched the movie on t.v.... well.. i thot that the title is really interesting... whats love without disaster right.. im not about to write the synopsis of the movie here.... but what i do want to write is about the gist of the movie.. or the essence of it... one of the actors.. *that i barely know anyway*.. said that, and im not quoting but merely para-phrasing of what i rememberd... it goes like this, "we have to give ourself the chance to love... and we must open ourself to love".. Love is a favorite title and its no different from other love movie that we can c.. but sumhow, the movie is extraordinary in a way that how it shows on how people falls in love.. out of love.. and for some people, they sont even realised or choose not to see that love is in front of them.. while some others, doesnt give people the chance to love them.. by having the notion of how "perfect" love will find them.. they are too engrossed with themselves.. and by doing that, they dont relised that they are shutting themselves from love.. i belong to the last category... ;)

Welll..... i dun want love to take centre stage in my blog.. there is sooo much other thing which i can write.. but sumhow it does affect me sumhow...

The funny thing is, being single is fine with me.. im single by choice.. there.. i said it!!.... I am picky when it comes to the person that i want to fall in love with.. i've never done crazy things to get love or to prove my love... each and everyday, i listen to my friends stories on their love life and all.. and having been quite well read.. and of course, a huge FAN of Kak Oprah.. does help me in giving pinion on how or what people should do with their love life... but the truth is, i am empty... i myself dont know how to react when it come to my personal stories.... the truth is, i myself is just as complicated.. confused and disoriented in the idea of love and by that.. how can i gave people advices.. who am i to judge how people treat their love right...

well.. maybe they just want a listening ear... no more than that... but of course, dont expect me to just listen lah kan... i will always give the piece of my mind on any matter.. cant help it.. i think that if people willing to talk to me bout their problems, they should be able to listen to what my opinion is also... thats the price that they have to pay .. ha...ha...

So in the end, yes... love is a disaster for me soo far.... i have lots of questions.. doubts and anwers and theories when it comes to love.. but so far, im never succesful with love.. or more precisely, i was never in love... infatuation.. YES... unrequitted affection... YES... but never love...i havent open myself to love yet... I will one day.. but not now.... ha..ha

anyway, my lunatic rants is getting nowhere.... what the hell.. it is my blog and i have all the right to rant as much as i want aite!!... ha..ha...

well.. for now thats it!!.... i am what i am.. and i will never be sumbody that i dun wnat to be.... life is complicated IF we want it to be.... otherwise, live is indeed easy.... there are no complicated relationship.. we are the one who put ourself in that situation.. there are no easy way as well.... there is only one path in our life... but along he way, there will be many-many obstacles.. depending on their degree of difficulty.... to manage it, we can go around the path.. .. or straight to it... eventhough the process is different, but its the final result that matters, we will get to the end and the results is the one that we consciously made along the way...

aite!!!....

adios muchachos babeh!